Well, it’s here, y’all. After months of eager anticipation, we’ve got awards show fever. The dresses at last night’s show (which I didn’t even make it through, because that’s the kind of weekend I had) were pretty underwhelming and sometimes a bit head-scratching, actually. Trends that I spotted included dresses in the champagne family, salmon-y pink numbers, and a lot of one-shoulder action. As usual, here’s my completely unqualified rundown of what was there to be seen.
Starting on a positive note (or a positive jam, if I’m channeling The Hold Steady), Glee’s Amber Riley absolutely killed it. Look at how hot she looks! While I am, admittedly, not a fan of the one-shoulder strap, everything about this dress is working for her. The black belt cuts her waist in a flattering way, the sparkles aren’t overwhelming, and the train is just the right length for her to rock it properly. Nicely done.
Next up is Amy Adams, who looks great in a navy blue strapless number. Although the weird poofy thing on the front is a bit much, I thought she looked pretty good, actually, and I was happy to see she did something with her hair, as opposed to just letting it hang in her face.
Then there was Anne Hathaway, whose dress did absolutely nothing for me. I didn’t feel like it was a flattering color, and I thought that the huge shoulder pads were way too eighties (and not in a good way). It fit her nicely, and the back was mostly just a plunging cut-out, but overall the effect was less than breathtaking. Her hair is pretty gorgeous, though. I have hair jealousy.
Moving on. Can we talk about Christina Aguilera for a minute? Something about this dress is very mid-to-late 90s for me, and I don’t like it one bit. Also, her hair looks terrible–it’s clear that she’s wearing a bunch of fake hair, and it looks super unhealthy and almost synthetic. The dress doesn’t fit her right, and she looks uncomfortable in it. No. Just, no.
Another Christina rocked the red carpet, though. Christina Hendricks looked amazing last night, rocking a red dress whose one-shoulder strap was awesome enough for me to overlook my aversion to it. Seriously, how hot is this woman? It’s not just because she represents us pale girls so well–she’s just absolutely gorgeous.
Claire Danes picked up an award for her work in the HBO movie Temple Grandin, but I’m not sold on her work in this pale pink dress. While I like the cut of it in theory, I thought that it made her arms look weird, and I kept getting distracted by glimpses of her ribcage. Do we like the color? I kind of like it more in this picture than I did on the TV last night.
Dianna Agron’s one of those women whose outfits usually border on being too precious but usually work for me. This one doesn’t do it for me, though. It’s simple enough in theory: it’s a column-dress, and it fits her nicely. Her makeup and jewelry are good, and she looks statuesque in it, but it’s so boring. The color is boring, and the dress itself isn’t exciting in any way. The most exciting part of it is the weird detailing at her waist that makes her look slightly pregnant. Ehhhh.
I don’t know what it was about blond women wearing salmon-colored gowns, but Emma Stone (who was almost unrecognizable without her red hair) rocked a dress that was similar to Danes’s pink one. I don’t like the cut of the dress–the sleeves seem a little matronly for a girl who’s something like 23 years old. I thought that the color washed her out, and I was underwhelmed by the ensemble as a whole. Disappointing.
Please ignore Helena Bonham Carter, who seems to be doing everything in her power to actually become a Tim Burton creation instead of merely being married to him. Hot mess.
If I look half as good as Helen Mirren when I get to be her age, I’ll be a happy camper. She looks really good here, although I’m not completely in love with her hair. The gold dress is working for her, it’s flattering and sexy without being over-the top, and the sleeves have enough detailing to keep them from being boring and matronly. Seriously, how hot is this woman?
I think I have to officially give up on January Jones. After last year’s red carpet disasterpieces, I just don’t think I can support her anymore. This one is a great color for her, but I feel like everything else about it is completely ridiculous. The cut is weird (seriously, is it a plunging neckline or one of those stupid, stylized bathing suits?), the fringe on the bottom is a TERRIBLE idea, and the whole thing gives me a headache. Onward!
Unfortunately, next up is Julianne Moore, who seems to have decided to raid the prom dress racks at Ragstock. This is the only explanation I can come up with for what she chose to wear, which basically looks like a pink garbage bag held up with a necklace. It’s terrible. I hate everything about it.
I realize I have a bias when it comes to Julia Stiles (I love her, and she can do no wrong), but I don’t know if that’s coming into play here. I think she looks awesome. The dress is super classic-looking, and the cut is lovely on her. She was one of the rarities on the red carpet, choosing to wear a dark color, and it totally worked for her. Nicely done.
Soft grays were another trend on the carpet last night, and Kelly MacDonald rocked it pretty hard. She looked really good, and the dress fit her perfectly–it was the drapey kind that could have looked wrong if it wasn’t cut properly, but it hugged her curves and fell nicely around her. Her red lips and soft waves completed the look. This may have been one of my favorites of the night.
Did anyone else get a kick out of Lea Michele’s completely overblown facial reactions when speeches were being given? She was trying so hard to cry every time the camera was in her face. Although she’s become somewhat of a red-carpet darling since breaking out on Glee, this dress sort of disappointed me. Another one to hop on the pink train, she managed to pull the color off better than Emma Stone and Claire Danes, but it still doesn’t wow me.
I didn’t even see Mandy Moore on the carpet last night, but when I happened across this photo this morning, I got excited. I love the color on her, and the dress itself is pretty awesome…until I saw that there’s a sheer mesh material over her shoulders, which totally harshed my buzz. Even so, it’s a nice dress, and she looked lovely.
Michelle Williams’s dress was so disappointing. She usually looks so good, and this dress was so completely underwhelming that I felt kind of crushed, actually. The flower pattern is completely out of place for a formal event (not to mention the exact same design that my grandmother wallpapered her kitchen with), and there’s something off about the cut, especially across the bust. Nope. Awful. Sorry sweetie.
The color of Mila Kunis’s dress is gorgeous, and I really liked the back of it, but I can’t completely get behind the poufy thing on her shoulder strap. I don’t know, man, it’s just not working for me. The emerald color is perfect for her, though.
Olivia Wilde’s crazy poufy dress was my favorite of the night, which is why I saved it for last. Still with me? Excellent. I loved everything about it, you guys. The sparkles, the color, the skirt that fluffs out just far enough. She also rocked some incredible gold stilettos that I’m coveting like crazy. The only problem with the look is that I wish she’d done something with her hair instead of letting it sit there, flat and dull.
That’s all, kiddies. See you at the Oscars.